Isn't there a fine line between being a teacher or critic as a mom? I think I fall way too often on the critic side of the line.
I pray and read my scriptures before I start my day. I also like to read a little from one of my many parenting books. I feel like I have so far to go in the area of mom I want to be vs. the one I actually am.
I did have a pretty decent mom moment recently. One of my kids took off and didn't tell me where they were going. I had a stressful time driving around the neighborhood. When I finally found them, I was mad.
I remembered some things discussed at my sisters reunion about trust. When we got home, I explained to them that I love them no matter what they do. They will never do anything bad enough that I won't love them. Love is not earned. Trust is earned though. I can love them to pieces and still not trust them. We talked about how important it is to be a person who can be trusted.
I then gave a consequence of writing a couple page paper on an animal. I guess my normal response is something like, "what the heck were you thinking?" So this was good for me.
Charie, I think you are such an awesome mom!!! You have shared so many great ideas, thanks, the following helps me discouraging days!
ReplyDeletePS sorry it is so long........
Marriage and Family Relations Participant’s Study Guide
The Sacred Roles of Fathers and Mothers
Mothers Do God’s Work
One young mother wrote to me recently that her anxiety tended to come on three fronts. One was that whenever she heard talks on LDS motherhood, she worried because she felt she didn’t measure up or somehow wasn’t going to be equal to the task. Second, she felt like the world expected her to teach her children reading, writing, interior design, Latin, calculus, and the Internet—all before the baby said something terribly ordinary, like “goo goo.” Third, she often felt people were sometimes patronizing, almost always without meaning to be, because the advice she got or even the compliments she received seemed to reflect nothing of the mental investment, the spiritual and emotional exertion, the long-night, long-day, stretched-to-the-limit demands that sometimes are required in trying to be and wanting to be the mother God hopes she will be.
But one thing, she said, keeps her going: “Through the thick and the thin of this, and through the occasional tears of it all, I know deep down inside I am doing God’s work. I know that in my motherhood I am in an eternal partnership with Him. I am deeply moved that God finds His ultimate purpose and meaning in being a parent, even if some of His children make Him weep.
“It is this realization,” she says, “that I try to recall on those inevitably difficult days when all of this can be a bit overwhelming. Maybe it is precisely our inability and anxiousness that urge us to reach out to Him and enhance His ability to reach back to us. Maybe He secretly hopes we will be anxious,” she said, “and will plead for His help. Then, I believe, He can teach these children directly, through us, but with no resistance offered. I like that idea,” she concludes. “It gives me hope. If I can be right before my Father in Heaven, perhaps His guidance to our children can be unimpeded. Maybe then it can be His work and His glory in a very literal sense.” 7
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